You know in life I have found out that it really is the little things that have a sometimes profound affect on you and you're look out.  Like this morning I had delivered to my door my order from Amazon of Yuban coffee, now I know how trivial this sounds but I love my coffee but only Yuban.  I live in a rather large city in NY and cannot for the life of me find my coffee which leads me to purchase "gourmet" coffee at a price I would rather not have to pay. Besides the price it isn't even very good.  
Now while I admit that in the scope of life this is silly compared to "real" problems, but it pisses me off to have to deal with this continually.  I have asked my two daughters instead of normal gifts at birthday or Christmas time I have asked for my coffee.  

I had my doctor's appointment this morning, he is a pain management doctor and probably the nicest most caring man I have ever met. After four years of having him treat me I found out that he has nine children. NINE! Ages from 2-17.  I asked him why so many and he unashamedly replied that that is what God's plan for them was.  That is another part of him that I so admire.  Having never been a fan of organized religion he is the real deal.  He normally during one of my visits gives me "trigger points" which is nothing more than saline being inserted into my neck muscles that are always tied in knots.  While I never say anything or cry out as it is pretty painful as the LONG needle is going into my muscle my body automatically slides down trying I think to get away from it.  The entire time he is apologizing.  
If they only made more men like him the world would be such a better place.  

I can tell you that after being out of my pain medication for three days it took me about five seconds to take one of my pills.  Twenty minutes and you can time it, the medication takes hold and fills the brain receptors.  I am so grateful for this drug as I do not and can not operate normally without it.  
Am I addicted?  Yes.  There is no way I couldn't be.  I do not buy street drugs and only take what is prescribed for me but still am a addict. My doctor gave me a prescription for massages and hopefully my insurance will pay for it.

My brother who lives in Laramie, WY has written a book and has done this through a new concept that Amazon has come up with.  The book is not even printed until an order comes in for it.  Amazing concept I think.  With every order he gets paid and of course Amazon takes their share, which I have no idea what it is.  He is sending me a copy and I can't wait to read it.  He has always been able to do whatever his mind can conjure up.  When he was a young teenager he made from a coffee table a reel to reel tape recorder with a turn table as well as a am fm radio. He then put on a glass top and that was Mom's new coffee table.  Pretty amazing man he is.  I admire him and wish I knew him better.  He and I are quite a bit a like.  I went three years ago (after Herb had died) to visit him and his wife for a week and had so much fun.  Even after being separated for more years than together we have so many things in common and respond in kind to situations.  I try to get us closer but he has such a problem because of our parents.  Always saying that maybe after they died (which they have) maybe we could be close and get to know each other, but I feel that I remind him so much of our family life that it is too hard for him to get around that. But I will always keep trying as he is worth it and frankly I need my brother.  

Well, this is the end of this post, feel free to comment if you would like.  Have a special day.

It has been so long since I have blogged

It has been quite a while since I have been on here and on my blog, maybe I can get it started again.  
Well, I moved to GA to be with my daughter and her family and that did not work out whatsoever.  We are too different and  that is not to say that I don't love her and the kids because I do, everything was so foreign to me in the South.   It was like it was 1950 again, so, so different.  The men all wearing baseball hats even while eating at the dining table just blew me away.  The lack of manners was another real bone of contention one of which my grandchildren had no desire to learn or to change.  
So after having an estate sale and getting rid of almost everything I am now left starting over again which is not easy to do at 65 years old.  I have moved into the same apartment building that Herbie  and I lived in before we bought our home so in some ways that is comforting.  It is located in a wonderful area of the city with all the coffee shops, boutiques, and co-ops that make it easy to live here.  

I have volunteered as an usher for Shea's which is a beautiful theatre known around the United States and abroad.  I figure it's a great way to meet like people and being able to see all of the shows is exciting.  I am trying my best to make a new life for myself but it's not so easy.  Not being a woman to give in or up I will prevail.  This is the last  part of my life and I have a  lot of catching up to do.  

I am not feeling so great today and am in a lot of pain but will get my pain pills tomorrow (thank God) I had to have back surgery before I left GA and had I have gone on u tube and watched it I Never would have done it.  Although the surgeon did fix the problem the surgical pain prevails.  They say it takes between 5-8 months to really finish healing and I am in my 5th month so have a bit to go.  Yikes, if you look at my neck and then my lower back they should have just installed a zipper.  I refuse to be a cripple or have that mentality but without pain pills I walk hunched over.  Thanks Dad.  
Well, this has been rather cathartic so I will continue to do it.  I forgot to mention that I am now seeing a counselor not for mental problems because of my up bringing but  was diagnosed as having PTSD   the same thing a person that goes to war has.  I will continue with the appointments until I can't.  
We'll talk tomorrow.  Take care.